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What is Christian Marriage?
To define Christian marriage, we must go back to the book of beginnings, Genesis. “And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18 KJV “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:22-24
God instituted the first marriage; it was blessed and consecrated by Him. Marriage is sacred, designed by God to be between men and women for His glory. Christian marriage is NOT a contract or agreement like many in the secular world label it as, but instead, it is a covenant made between God, the man, and the woman. “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:6
God’s plan for marriage is to provide companionship, spiritual fellowship, raise godlychildren, and establish and build His kingdom. In today’s world, marriage has been turned into something else, something that is contrary to God’s will. The number of divorces have skyrocketed in recent years alone; the sanctity of marriage has been devalued and seen as just a piece of paper to be signed. You see people of the same sex (homosexuals) getting married even in churches, churches that claim that they are built on biblical truths. you will see many justifying the practice of same-gender relationships. It is not a sin; it is an “alternative lifestyle.” they state. Many people, especially in the western world, are living together without being married. It has become the norm of society. Living out of wedlock is not sin; it is a responsible way to prepare for marriage. (another way to justify sinful actions). It is sad to see that even those who profess to be believers are engaged in such ungodly lifestyles.
As mentioned in the introduction section, marriage is an institution that is widely recognized all over the world. It is found to exist in almost all cultures or societies regardless of religious/faith beliefs and economic status. Every culture has its own customs, laws and ritual practices when it comes to the institution of marriage.
The Christian home typically comprises the man, the wife, and the children. It is a home where God has been placed at the center of it. The following found on sermon central.com is one of my preferred definitions of a Christian home. “It is where husband and wife function as partners, submitting to each other in fear of God to establish God’s purpose for their lives. A Christian home is where children learn to respect and honor themselves and others.”
Counseling from a biblical perspective or worldview is founded on the premise that emotional problems are usually spiritual problems. Submission to Christ and His Word is the solution to man's problems caused by his sin. As pastors, ministers, and lay counselors, counseling couples from a biblical perspective is not an option. It is
mandatory. The Lord God has provided the resources and tools needed to counsel His children the right way, and that is through the lens of Scripture. The Holy Spirit of God, the great Counselor, is the number one resource to be utilized in every counseling session. Through the intervention of the Spirit of God and the application of God's Word, counseling is effectively done. "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit–the Father will send Him in My name–will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you." John 14:26 HCSB.
Marriage and family counseling is sometimes done by counselors or therapists simultaneously. In this case, counseling or therapy will not only include the couple, but also the children, grandparents and if in a blended family situation, co-parents.
Marriage & family counseling from a biblical worldview is rooted on the Word of God and is to guide individuals seeking spiritual, physical and emotional healing in the right direction, in the direction of God, the healer, Jesus, Lord & Savior and the Holy Spirit, the great comforter, and counselor.
Most Christians seeking help and support in their marriages and families ordinarily will not make secular counseling their first choice. They instead seek out marriage counselors or therapists who share their same beliefs and values, or they go to their pastors or biblical counselors within the confines of their church community.
Both faith-based (Christian) counseling and secular counseling share one thing in common: to help people overcome the challenges they face in their homes and marriages and find true joy and meaning in their lives. The strategies, tools or resources used to accomplish this task is where the two concepts of marriage differ. Many things could be said about the differences between Christian and secular marriage counseling, but only a few of them will be highlighted in this course.
Let us look at some biblical principles for Christian marriages and homes.
1. Both husband and wife must be born again; and live a life that is holy and pleasing to God. Ephesians 5:1-2, 1 Peter 1:15-16, 23.
2. Love Christ and love each other wholeheartedly. Colossians 3:14, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Ephesians 5:25.
3. Couples should honor, be submissive(wives) and cherish each other always. 1 Peter 3:7, Colossians 3:18-19.
4. Couples should be in unity, working and walking in one accord. The author, Gbile Akanni states that the man and woman coming together enhances their life together and makes it complete and completed in every aspect. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Ephesians 5:31, Genesis 2:18.
5. Recognize who the enemy of your marriage and home is. John 10:10, Ephesians 6:11-12. Stand together to fight the enemy and not each other.
6. Do not be judgmental and critical of each other – Be ready to accept your faults in any issues, confess it, repent, and forgive. 2 Corinthians 2:5-11, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Ephesians 4:32.
7. Speak words of life, words of comfort and encouragement to each other. 1 Peter 4:8, Ephesians 4:2-3, Proverbs 18:21.
8. Try to spend quality time as a couple and as a family. Ephesians 5:19, 1 Peter 1:22, Hebrews 10:25.
9. Do not make it a habit to always invite others into your marital issues. Allow the Lord to guide you when necessary to seek godly counsel. Apply godly wisdom. Genesis 2:24, Ecclesiastes 4:12, Psalm 32:8.
10.Proactively practice patience and kindness in your relationship -Galatians 5:22-23, I Corinthians 13:4-8.
11.Learn to listen to each other – Be proactive in your listening. Hear what your spouse is saying to you, both orally and verbally. Be fully present in the conversation.
12.Avoid stress related to money/finance. Spend and invest wisely as a couple. Seek financial counseling or coaching when necessary. Luke 6:38, Job 36:11, Philippians 4:11-13, Philippians 4:19, Proverbs 10:22.
It is impossible to say that you will not encounter storms or challenges in your marital relationships and families. However, the Lord Jesus has assured us that he will be with us through the storms of life, which includes challenges in the home. He has provided the above-listed principles to help guide our homes. In addition, through His ministers whom He has given the mantle and ministry of counseling, strategies have also been
designed to help deal with and overcome obstacles in Christian homes. Let us look at some of them:
The Christian marriage/home is very crucial to God’s plan and purpose for His people and as biblical counselors, lay counselors and ministers of God, we must take seriously the ministry of reconciling homes and families back to each other and to God. The Lord hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and does not want to see His children continue to take it as an easy way out when His Holy Spirit along with spiritual tools, principles and strategies are readily available to be used to help restore homes and help strengthen and build lasting marital and family relationships.
End of Course
Please note that only students of the Diploma in Biblical Counseling and Crisis Care program are permitted to take the final exam for this course. It is NOT required for individuals who are enrolling in this course for their own personal enrichment.
Complete your exam here and reach out to the school for your grades.
Congratulations on completing the course!
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About the course
This course introduces the student to marriage and family counseling. In this course,students will learn how to apply effective tools and strategies to help the couples they counsel (counselees) within their local churches and communities overcome issues in their marriages, families thereby strengthening and building lasting relationships. This course is NOT for licensed therapists, marriage counselors, or any other credentialed provider. It is a foundational course for pastors, and other Christian ministers/leaders seeking to counsel, encourage and support Christian marital couples, about to wed couples, and families in their relationships.
The Introduction to Marriage & Family Counseling - BC 205 is one of the core courses of The Diploma in Biblical Counseling & Crisis Care program.
